Things We Forgot Were Cool

A few days ago, I was surfing about the World Wide Web as movie music soundtrack was playing in my MP3 player (go ahead, judge my nerdness; my wife does at least twice daily), when the theme to a certain movie began playing. A theme that took me back to the far away land of 1989, when I was about 10 years old. The movie to see that year, if anyone can remember, was a little film by Tim Burton called... Batman.

And oh, how I wanted to see Batman. And I did. And it was glorious. And I think now that we have been graced with Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, we tend to treat Burton's movie as an afterthought; "Oh, for its time, I guess it was all right." No sir, it is still a cool movie.

Are Batman Begins and The Dark Knight better movies than Batman's first major big screen adventure? Yes, I think they are. But I think that doesn't mean we suddenly have to dismiss Burton's version of Batman. It was still cool and it introduced a world of us familiar with the campy 60s show what could really be done with the character. And without it, we wouldn't have Nolan's terrific versions of this fine hero.

And let us not forget Jack. I went in to that movie knowing Batman would be a cool dude, but was totally blown away by The Joker. It's hard for me to compare Jack's Joker with Ledger's, as to me they are two totally different characters. I tend to like both of them, but I loved the crazy energy that Jack exuded as the character. Whereas Ledger's Joker seemed like a psychotic who liked to wear makeup and cause anarchy, Nicholson's Joker truly came across as a deranged clown, which is how I tend to picture the character myself.

Once again, I understand that as movies, Nolan's movies are more mature with better characterizations, but let's not rewrite history and suddenly make Batman '89 a piece of crap. It might not be as good, but it's still pretty cool.

My Best Summer?

Well, late Spring/Summertime is amongst us and it got me to reflecting. What was the best summer of my life? I had some fun ones as a wee lad growing up. There were several trips with the grandparents.

Like the one in '89; I was 9 going on 10 and my Papaw was working as a carpenter at the Hilton Hotel in Mobile, Alabama, so we got to hang out down by the gulf for a couple of months. This summer became known by my grandparents as the summer we were in the hotel watching Jaws 3 and Papaw Don tossed his shorts at me in a perfectly timed throw just as Jaws was attacking, nearly making history by creating the youngest heart attack victim ever.

Fortunately, no 3-D glasses were involved

He still enjoys telling this story, 20 years down the road. In fact, he was kind enough to relay the story to my wife just this past Christmas, so that was an awesome summer.

Also, Batman came out.

What could be more epic?

Then there was the summer of '99, ten years later; I was 19 going on 20 without a whole lot of responsibility. I had a full time job, yet no real authority as of yet. Mainly spent the summer hanging with friends, going to the movies and whatnot. Trips to Longview, buying the crap out of DVDs and CDs. I think a new “Weird Al” Yankovich CD may have been involved.

Yeah, I looked it up, there was. And I did buy it.

And let's not forget Star Wars Mania.

Even the haters thought this was awesome.

Now, I know some were disappointed with Episode 1, but this isn't your summer, it's mine and I saw that sucker at least six times. All in all, a pretty decent summer.

Then there's the summer of '08; I was 28 going on 29. I was a married man with responsibilities. I went to the emergency room with a fun case of kidney stones. I had shoulder surgery and had to go through a couple of months of rehab, which I don't recommend unless you just like to torture yourself. Our house got flooded and we had to live with the in laws for two months until the insurance finally realized they would actually have to pay something to help us out (seeing as how we've been paying them monthly for just such and emergency and all).

And I would have to say that was the best summer of my life. No, that wasn't a misprint. Cause those paying attention will remember that was the spring/summer we became parents to a great little girl who was a loooooooong time coming. The answer to a lot of prayers and the cure for more heartache than either of us care to recount.

For all that went kooky that summer, that one event rises above and lifts that summer head and shoulders above any other. Of course, we'll see how this one plays out as we anticipate the arrival of our little boy in July, but so far, the Summer of '08 rules supreme.

Also, Batman came out.

20 years later, even epic-er.

Things I Notice in Kid's Entertaiment

You're probably wondering why a grown man such as myself is spending a lot of time on kids hows. Short answer, my daughter is 18 months old. In point: Yesterday I was sitting there watching The Librarian 2, which is nerdy, cheesy and awesome all at once when Allie starts getting a little fussy. Sondra is like "Can we put something on she can watch." So, this is my life.

As an adult, as I rewatch some of this stuff I remember from childhood, I've noticed a couple things that may have escaped my attention back in the day.

1. The Little Mermaid: Prince Eric is a bit of a himbo. He may have leading man looks, own a loveable pooch and surround himself with quirky servants, but clearly some of his tools appear to have gone missing from the toolshed, if ya know what I mean?

Yeah, that hottie? Evil witch in disguise. Genius.

2. Sesame Street: Couple of things on this gem.

A. When did the kid muppets overtake the street? I my not have watched it religiously, but I remember old faves like The Count, Oscar the Grouch, and Cookie Monster. Big Bird, who I always found the lamest (feel free to disagree with me if you like, lame-o), is still pretty prominent. But all the old favorites seem to have taken a backseat to the likes of Elmo, Zoey, Tully and something called a Baby Bear. All I can say is "C" is for Cookie and that will always
be good enough for me.

For a bear, not very terrifying.

B. If I were Bert, I would long ago had to have kicked Ernie's teeth in. All he does is cause that poor banana looking man grief.

Ready to shove that Rubber Ducky you know where.

3. Aladdin: So *this* is the Robin Williams I remember before he got kind of annoying.

He works better as a cartoon.

4. Toy Story: Still pretty awesome.

Buzz Lightyear is never not awesome.

Tattle Tellers Are Annoying

Tattle tellers are annoying, no matter what age they may be.

The other day I was doing a little outside work at the store. Off to the side a little ways, a truck was sitting in the fire lane beside the curb. I thought nothing of this, as many cars park there as customers run in and out real quick. This probably isn't the right way to go about your parking business, but I find it less annoying than the twenty two year old who thinks nothing of parking in the handicapped spot. I do notice, however, a stern looking dude standing beside the truck with his cell phone out taking pictures of the truck and, I'm assuming, it's license plate.

A woman approaches the man and is like "Um, excuse me sir, is there a problem?" He just looks at her with what I can only assume is a permanently engraved frown on his face and says "You're not supposed to park there." Then he briskly walks off. The woman kind of scratches her head, gets in her truck and moves it out into the parking lot while the man, I'm assuming, was going to send his pictures off to the authorities.

I was out there another half hour or so doing my thing as no less than three cars parked in that same spot with nary a sign of the Cell Phone Vigilante.

It got me thinking. I personally don't condone parking in spots that are forbidden or otherwise engaging in any activities that might be considered suspect that would, more importantly, separate me from what little money I have in my bank account. But tattletales kind of irk me. Like when I was in elementary school. The teacher would leave the class and some kid would
say something really dirty. Something that would just blow my sheltered mind through the outer atmosphere. But I would say nothing to the teacher; I would merely think "Holy *bleep*, he just said the H-E-Double Hockey stick word!" But there was that one girl. You know the one. The one who sits at the desk right in front of the teacher's desk. The one who reminds the teacher that we were supposed to have a quiz today. The one with her nose up in the air and the smug look plastered on her face. She tells the teacher. Yeah, nobody liked that girl.

When I'm trudging on along 635 and some idiot with a car that's not nearly as awesome as he thinks it is blows by me in the next lane doing 125 miles per hour, I may say to my wife "I wish there was a cop around here to show him what for!", but my first instinct is not to whip out my cell phone and speed dial the nearest Police Station to report that someone has the cojones to be speeding on the interstate. I'm just not that guy and it's hard for me to be in the mindset of that guy.

So yeah, unless something violent is happening to someone, I don't see it as my business to go around reporting on every little wrong thing I see someone doing. If the cops drive up and find you parked where you ought not to have been, well, you took the risk pal and it didn't quite pay off for you. That extra 20 steps you saved to run in and buy your 1.99 gallon of milk hardly seems worth it now that you have a 200 buckaroo fine staring you down. So good luck with that. Just know, I'm not the one who called the cops. It was the guy with the cell phone camera. Seriously, who died and made that guy Batman?

The Last Five Movies I Have Seen

On Facebook there was this Pick 5 app where you could pick the last five movies you have seen so everyone of your buddies know how bad your movie taste is. Since I did that and since I'm off work today and bored, I thought I'd expand on it a little. Without further ado: THE LAST FIVE MOVIES I HAVE SEEN!!!!

TWILIGHT

Ah, the much debated vampire movie based on that ever popular book series. Now, I'll be up front and totally honest with you: I had no desire to see this movie. Based on the previews, the plot and the, let's be honest here, overall demographic of fans (insane preteen/teen girls) of this series, I didn't think it was for me. But there's this guy I was working with at the time who assured me it wasn't nearly as girly as it was made out to be and I should give it a shot. So I did and, frankly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Do I still get all the hoopla? Not really. I understand the Harry Potter craze (and still easily prefer the boy wizard over this stuff), but I just don't get the craziness surrounding this. The movie was entertaining and and well done for the most part, but if I were so inclined, I could probably rip it to shreds. But I found myself drawn into the story and the acting was decent enough, so it didn't bore me to tears for two hours. My main problem with it was there didn't seem to be much conflict until the end where it was as if the movie decided "Hey, we're making a movie about vampires here, we better have some bad guys fight some good guys", and seemed a bit rushed. Of course, this is just part one of a larger story, so I'm sure that plays into it, but I was just viewing it as one movie, not a part of a larger whole. Anyways, the movie was enjoyable enough that I'll probably check out the sequel but not mind blowingly awesome that I'll check it out the moment it hits theaters.

ADVENTURELAND

I've seen it said that this movie suffered from false advertising, and it most certainly did. The commercials and trailers told us to expect another wacky comedy in the vein of such films as Superbad and Knocked Up! Not that I saw those movies, but when I watched Adventureland, it was because I was in the mood for something funny and for better or worse, it wasn't exactly a comedy. More of a classic coming of age type movie where we meet all these characters working at the amusement park as they are at certain crossroads of their lives. With my background and the way I grew up, I didn't exactly relate to these characters a whole lot, but it was interesting to watch them deal with the things that popped up in their various experiences. I can see why critics loved this thing. But I thought it was well made, well acted and it did a good job of capturing it's time period (mid to late 80s) that brought to mind other movies that are age setting specific, such as American Graffiti or Dazed and Confused, and it fits well into that type of genre. Not what I expected, but I enjoyed it.

KNOWING

Another movie that turned out much different than what I thought going in. It's one that I can't really get into without ruining it for those that haven't seen it. We have Nic Cage and his son finding a page full of numbers from a 50 year old time capsule at the son's school. Nic Cage, being the brilliant mind that his character is, deciphers the meaning of these numbers and comes up with specific dates and victim numbers of catastrophes that happened on those dates. Every major catastrophe in the last 50 years is covered plus a few more dates yet to happen. Nic Cage and his hair decide that perhaps these catastrophes can be avoided with the prior knowledge of their occurrence. After a couple of really nifty disasters (the plane crash is really chilling), this movie in which Nic Cage and the daughter of the person who wrote the numbers fight to avert disaster takes a turn that takes the movie to a deeper, horrifying, more unpredictable and (in my opinion) much cooler place that leaves what went on up to the viewer and up for debate. I went into this movie thinking I'd like it, ended up liking it a lot.

DOLORES CLAIBORNE

Based on the novel by Stephen King and staring Kathy Bates, this isn't as good as Misery but is still pretty decent in its own right. What's genius about this movie isn't the storyline, but how the storyline is constructed. We go into it not knowing a whole lot about what's going on and finding out that even what we did know didn't exactly happen how we thought. Dolores Claiborne is accused of killing the rich lady that she had been a housekeeper for for the previous 20 years. Things about Dolores' past might indicate that she would be capable of it. Even her disturbed journalist daughter thinks she's capable of it. The only one in the movie who sees the whole picture is Dolores and it comes out piece by piece in the form of flashbacks that don't fully come together until the last flashback (by a different character) is seen. None of these characters are particularly likable, but you will root for them. Christopher Plummer as the lead homicide cop on the case really makes you want to kick him in the teeth. While there are tense moments and bits of unease and violence, this isn't the type of horror or thriller you expect from Stephen King. Just a good old fashioned drama with good acting.

STATE OF PLAY

It's said they don't make this type of movie much anymore in lue of the special effect blockbusters and raunchy comedies that permeate the theaters these days and it's a shame. There's something refreshing about watching a bunch of well known actors (Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Robin Wright Penn, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren) navigate a well written and directed dramatic thriller. Russell Crowe is the old school newspaper man who takes a blogger (another interesting kind of side theme to the movie, the death of the classic newspaper and the rise of internet news) under his wing to investigate a scandal involving Ben Affleck's congressman who just happens to be an old roommate and friend of his. It's interesting to watch him juggle going after the story while at the same time watching out for his buddy's interest. Despite the fact that this could have turned into a boring movie, there's an energy to it, an unease that permeates through the movie that keeps you glued to it, watching these people uncover bits and facts and try to put it all together and then the movie takes you where you didn't expect it to, using the relationships established before to put a twist on everything that went down earlier. (What a run on sentence that turned out to be). I really liked this
movie and it'd be nice to see more of it's ilk being put on screens nowadays.

Loch Ness Monster on Google Earth!

I know I mainly do the movie and TV thing on this insignificant blog o' mine, so this falls in the category of "other junk that amuses me".

Apparently, this dude (who, no joking, is The Security Guard of Nottingham) was surfing Google Earth and found a picture of the legendary Loch Ness Monster. Dun Dun Duuuuuhh!! Right off the bat, that sterling example of London News Journalism, The Sun, has proclaimed that after five trillion years Nessie has finally been found and all it took was some dude paying attention while surfing the Internet.

Now, I dont' know about you, but take a look at the picture below and all doubts are instantly erased! I mean, how can you not tell that's ye ol' Nessinator.

Nessie!

Honestly, though, I do have a pretty active imagination. One that would be thrilled if something like this came to light. Nessie, Yeti, Sasquatch (though I'm pretty sure I saw him shopping at the store I work at today), UFOs, Donkey Kong. The idea that these things could exist excites the inner Mulder in me.

But first and foremost, I am a healthy skeptic about all this. That movie fueled love of the unexplained is governed by another part of me; Mr. Logic. This is why I both love and hate the series MonsterQuest on the History channel. It teases you with cool things that may be revealed and only finds just enough maybe sorta signs that there is a slight possibility something neat is going on.

I gotta see proof. Actual scientists need to show me tangible evidence before I can fully drink the Bermuda Triangle kool-aid.

And I hardly think a picture of what could easily be a couple of young lovers enjoying an afternoon in a row boat found by Jeb Smith on his laptop constitutes tangible evidence.

So, until the next photo op with Nessie comes around, I'll just keep believing these things are part of a vivid imagination.

Warehouse 13

For those that don't know, Warehouse 13 is a show on The Sci-Fi Channel (I refuse to call it by its new name SyFy) about a place stocked with all the secret cool stuff the government has stashed away over the years and the agents in charge of finding anything weird and dangerous that needs to go there. Kinda like the place at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

My one sentence review: This is a fun show.

As far as I'm concerned, not every property dealing with a sci-fi or fantasy element has to make us look deep inside ourselves to find a bigger truth. Sometimes, a couple of actors having fun with their roles inside a world where nifty things happen is all I need.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not falling all over myself for this thing. Like a lot of series before it, it's taking a few episodes to find its footing. But I think it's getting there. The actors are growing more and more into their roles and beginning to jive really well with each other.

Not Mulder and Scully ripoffs. Yet.

There was a scene last week with Pete, the male lead, in a room by himself with an ancient Japanese sword and, thinking he's alone, he starts playing with it, doing the exaggerated Japanese Movie film dub voice as he has an imaginary sword fight. It was goofy and silly and something I don't see on other shows, but totally something I would do myself! Some probably find the scene an exercise in stupidity, I find it an exercise in awesome.

The stories are improving and becoming more enjoyable. I really dig the mixture of old tech and new (Steampunk, the younguns call it). I'm no scientist, but you kind of have to look past certain things that might stretch believability. I've seen people complain, wondering why these people would use these old timey looking pocket TV monitor dealies to talk to each other instead of cell phones like most modern advanced human beings do. Other than the fact that it looks neat, what is the point? the logical thinking fellow geek asks.

The monitor thingie is cool, as is Artie.

I say, “Who cares?” I find it a nice change of pace from all these shows that have fast moving characters in high pressured situations with their ears glued to a stupid cell phone. I see enough of that in real life.

All I want from this show is a mental break from the real world for an hour or so and that is what it delivers.

It's a fun show and that's all I ask.